Max's First Birthday

Well, today is the day that, one year ago, my life was changed forever.  Max came into our lives and, for the first 10 hours of his life, things were wonderful and I think our lives would have gone on as it had before, with the addition of one more bundle of joy to love.  But things abruptly changed at 2pm on his birthday when the doctor said she suspected Max to have a form of dwarfism.  I look back today on all the emotions I had at that moment and for the weeks that followed.

My first emotion was disbelief.  Dwarfism???  Dwarfism???  What does this mean?  I couldn't even wrap my mind around the word Dwarf...  I had given birth to a "dwarf baby."  In my whole life, I had never even met a dwarf/little person and I had just given birth to one?  Then I felt fear.  The doctor told me that he would have a higher risk of SIDS because of the risk of spinal cord compression.  He had an MRI and a sleep study before he was even 6 weeks old.  There were appointments with genetics and neurologists and lost of scary "what if's" before we had the final diagnosis of achondroplasia.  I even felt sad.  How would the world react to my dwarf son?   Would he be made fun of and ridiculed?  I even thought out as far as high school dances and dating.  I cried for things that could happen and things that had never happened and that wouldn't happen for years to come.  It was a very difficult time for me, the most difficult time in my life.  I prayed for the strength to make it through those difficult days and I truly believe I was not alone.  I often think of the poem "Footprints" and I am certain that, after Max was born, there was only one set of footprints in the sand.  There were complete strangers that, looking back, had undoubtedly crossed my path by the grace of God.  Like the poem, "Welcome to Holland," I truly grieved the loss of what I had expected life to be like when Max was born.

But the biggest emotion I felt was LOVE!  I LOVED this little baby of mine SO MUCH, no matter how long his arms and legs were.  He was PERFECT in my eyes and he was truly just exactly the way God intended him to be and HE WAS MINE!!!

My life has changed so much since the birth of my little Max.  I have met so many wonderful people and have become part of a wonderful community of people through the LPA.  I have made friendships that I know will last a lifetime and have been introduced to some amazing people who just happen to be short statured.  I have watched Max grow month after month and do things that just amaze me!  He is so determined and nothing holds him down.  If he wants to get to something, he just figures out how to get it.  He does some things very differently from the way Aiden and Emmi did it and it makes me so proud!  He is angelic and delightful and he makes me smile every day.  Aiden and Emmi love Max so much!!  Aiden is so proud that his brother is so unique and tells everyone his brother is a little person.  I think of Max and my heart swells with love and pride!  I embrace his uniqueness and look forward to watching him grow up and do all the things that he wants to do.  I have had such a great support group of other parents who have assured me that, for the most part, everything will be great!

So, here is the update on what Max is doing now.  He is pulling up on EVERYTHING and wants to check everything out.  His favorite spots are standing at the sliding glass doors and looking outside and standing holding on to the bottom step.  He crawls all over the house and he is FAST!  He is saying "hi," "mama," "dada," and "Aiden" (we are pretty sure!!  It sounds just like it!).  He is sitting up while holding onto his toys.  He smiles ALL DAY LONG!!  He has never been much of a giggler, but has been giggling a lot yesterday and today!  He loves grilled cheese, cheerios, toast, pancakes and, as of tonight. CAKE!  He still does not sleep through the night and gets up 1-3x every night to nurse...  I love the snuggle time and will miss it when he starts sleeping all night (but I am EXHAUSTED!!).  He still has no teeth!!!  I think the top 2 are getting close to popping through though!  He is growing and changing each and every day and I am loving watching him.

It has been a very busy year and my baby is growing up to quickly (as they all do!).  I look back on all the emotions that I had after he was born and feel almost silly that I worried so much about things.   I know that it was normal to feel all those things, but I had no idea that life would be as great as it is now.  I take the opportunity often to educate people, even complete strangers, about dwarfism.  (TLC and Discovery Health have really  helped a lot too!! :-)  ).

Today, as on the day Max was born, I shed some tears.  But today they were only tears of pure happiness and joy.  I love this little boy more than words can say!!

Max- July 21, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX!!!

All smiles!

"What you talkin' about?"

Looking very mischievous 

My Birthday Boy!!

Max's favorite pastime-Standing and looking outside.

I see you Max!!

Love those brown eyes!