Well, I am sure it is the beginning of a million comments that I will hear in regards to Max, and I know I will get a backbone and less emotional as time goes on, but it AMAZES me what people will let come flying out of their mouths!!! We laugh and say these people forgot to put their filter in...the one that filters out all the stupid, non PC, insensitive things that they say.
Two examples, the first not a big deal and didn't upset me. The second that upset me immensely, more than I could have imagined!
A few weeks ago at a birthday party, one of the moms who doesn't know about Max's LP status said "WOW!! he's 2/12 months!! He's so little!" But she said it with the tone in her voice of "what is wrong with him??" I just shrugged and, at this age, felt no need to explain. Now what she said was not bad at all, but the tone she said it in implied something was wrong with him...I would never say anything like that to someone. She clearly left her filter at home that day.
The second example really upset me. We were at the opening of the new hospital in our area and I was talking with a woman who had known my husbands family for years, mostly politically but socially as well. I had met her many times over the years. She was adoring little Max, who was hanging off the front of me in the Chicco carrier. He was full of smiles for her and was so attentive. We got to talking about having kids and how many and she brought up the Dugger Family with 19 kids. We were wondering how anyone can afford 19 kids and she said that being on TV probably helps a lot. Then we briefly mentioned Jon and Kate Plus 8 as well. I then said (honestly thinking she may already know about Max's conditions) "that TLC has some really good programs on, like that Little People Big World." and she said (I can honestly feel the venom rising up inside of my chest right now as I remember how I felt when she said it....deep breaths!!)...so she said "Oh, the show about the midgets. Oh, I know they don't like being called that..." so I, stunned, put my hands gently over Max's head (who is now sleeping looking so angelic laying on my chest in the carrier) and say "well, you know, Max is a little person.....and, although I was unaware of this before I had Max, they Little People community really finds that word to very degrading...." She looks oblivious, gets accidently bumped from somebody behind us and joins their conversation...No, "gee I'm sorry to have said something so insensitive" or, "excuse me while I pull my foot out of my mouth"....I honestly think she is one of those people who just says what she wants and doesn't have a clue!!! And I say, KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!! If you find it necessary to say something negative, (which we should all NOT DO!!) at least make sure you are not insulting the person you are talking to!!! So, there I am, standing in the middle of about 100 people crammed into the center of the new hospital lobby and I am uncontrollably upset. Eric was standing by me but was not privy to any of that conversation. I had to excuse myself and rush out of the room. It would have been one thing if she had just used the word midget...but to follow it up with "I know THEY don't like to be called that"...Like 'THEY' are a disease...AND if you KNOW that, than DON'T use the word!! Unfortunately, this is an individual that will probably NEVER get it. I do give myself credit for educating her about why NOT to use that word. She clearly forgot to put her filter in!!...
I was so upset about this and I know, in time, I will get used to the comments and the stares but I'm sure it will still hurt. But honestly, thus far, the absolute majority of the people who I have told about Max have been so supportive and wonderful. Our family and friends are so excited to know a Little Person and to meet other wonderful people they may have never had the opportunity to meet before Max. Max is such a blessing!
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